I awoke early this morning.
I lay there tossing and turning, as the saying goes, for a time ("thought I'd be friends with time"). Something was not quite right, as such. I was thinking, perhaps stressing, about I'm not sure what (although I discovered something good: I don't think I'd been grinding my teeth). My insticts have been crazy lately. They were better for a while, but they have been very recently not so great. Or rather, they were fine, I've just been having trouble listening. I now can hardly use my mind at all without crushing instincts and feelings, but I does adhere to them more. So, as I was typing, I felt really odd.
Eventually I arose from my warm bed, dressed, and went outside to find the answers in the "Goddess" (for such was my line of thinking because of recent readings) or in nature, and the spirit (there was also another motive here, to do with mixed up insticts, whihc I choose not to go into).
I took off my shoes to feel the Earth. I walked out the front. I decided to take those little things- bits of wood cut in odd curvy shapes- that had been left on the fence, along with a navy blue scarf, on Saturday night, and see if I could fit them together.
After a little bit of playing I became paranoid that they might be some sort of "black magic" trap, like something Necronmocronicron (I don't actually remember the proper word) ish. So I threw them away and hoped I wasn't cursed. It makes perfect sense in the world of movies.
I realised I was sitting next to the council cleanup pile, like the rubbish I must obviously be.
But here is my original intention.
In the East was the dawn, confined to its srtip of space for now because of the cloudcover. Beautiful glowing orange to yellow, fading, changing, growing.
And to the East was the night. The Moon was still visible through the clouds, and below them was the dark sky.
Torn between night and day, I could not choose which to stay with, for I could not have both at once. Each beautiful, which it's own connotations- new life, hope, rest, peace, the Goddess, the God. I could not choose. I thought there might be a feeling drawing me towards night, but then the thought that sunrise equals hope. That is what comes of reading too much of contradicting beliefs and finding it hard to trust your own self.
Of course, the night was receeding to a memory as the Sun was creeping up, gradually lighting the night by infintitesimal degrees, until you realise the clouds have become a glowing pinky-orange; and then all night is gone and it is day, so what does it matter now?
Good day to you all.