"so i chose all this, huh? is that what you're saying?

"i guess there is a sort of cosmic humor in it... so much irony it could only be called divine.

"you did not create yourself. your actions only have the illusion of being of your own accord. what "occurs" as "events" in this universe are, in every case, the necessary result of the prevailing conditions--only the densest portion of which could be said to be "physical"--at any given point in "space" and "time."

"you are in Reality only a silent witness to this process. from a more universal context it can be seen as self-evident that the ego is deluded in claiming posession of its thoughts and deeds. sorry, but you don't have the power to determine the course of manifestation... even at the highest currently attainable levels of human consciousness--that of the Buddha, Jesus the Christ and the other great Avatars of history--power is not something one "has" or "does" or "uses," but what one is, and is attained through submisison rather than attempts to force and control your world. "my will and the will of the father are one," to paraphrase Jesus.

"it is time to transcend your fundamental perception of duality in the world. Truth is not opposed to falsehood, and Good is not opposed to evil--there are no opposites in Reality. rather, Truth is a continuum. that is, it exists in varying degrees of intensity as an energy that is present or not, much like light could be said to exist in a dark room. the point is (it's here somewhere...) there is no such thing as darkness, or cold, or evil... there is only the presence or absence of light, heat and Love.

"to hate evil is still to hate, and no amount of wrongs will ever add up to "right."

"you cannot add darkness to the dark and make it light.

"no matter what you do--no matter how hard you try to ignore it or how long you run away--the limited self you mistake for being "you" will never be capable of being anywhere other than where it is... that is, Here and Now. try as you might, you will eventually realize that you cannot change How Things Are. eventually, be it right now, or in ten years or a million, you will have to face the Truth:

"Creation is perfect, and so are you.
Nothing should be other than it is.
"What if's" and "If only's" are nothing but useless mentations--
they only serve to distract you from the Beauty and perfect Harmony of every moment of Creation.

"Trust in this, and you will be set free.
Relax yourself completely into the world.

"As Rumi said, "be melting snow,"
or take Phish's advice, and choose to remember that the trick
is to surrender yourself completely to the flow.

"What am I saying? Nothing, really,
that hasn't been said a million times before--
in a thousand different ways, through pristine channels--
how long will we wait while Truth knocks at our door?

"Someone who loves you is trying to lead you home.

"...

"maybe here's a good place to insert some words from A Course in Miracles--a restatement of all this babble in more rarified, simpler terms... it seems to be what you realize when you finally decide to open the door. pay attention, because these words are quite powerful... they point to what it is you came here for:

""I am here only to be truly helpful.
I am here to represent Him Who sent me.
I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do, because He Who sent me will direct me.
I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing He goes there with me.
I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal."

"or, as Neale Walsch once transcribed: "you are in the room to heal the room."

"the greatest joy and the highest bliss only come through the surrender of desire, fear and pride, out of sheer gratitude for the gift of your existence. only your highest self truly appreciates being alive.

"... i'm wandering again... back to Creation...

"Creation contains infinite potential. every possibility is available for manifestation. existence comes into being in the interaction between intent and form, brought forth by a Power of inconceivable proportions, and though the "future" is infinite and undetermined--like the cloud of probability that is the underlying substrate of matter--at the moment Creation occurs it becomes "pre-determined." your life could not have gone any other way. no one can help but to be what they are.

"okay, i'm done for now. it's funny, you really never know where these things are going to go, and it makes you wonder if "you" are really writing this at all... hehe..."

I do wonder what everyone is thinking of all this stuff I've been posting recently, particularly my friends. Maybe I've scared some people off. Maybe people think I've gone crazy, or just plain stupid. Has it changed people's opinions of me in any way? I do feel sligth embaressment and shame at all this. But oh well.
Goodnight.
:)