Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas!
"My Christmas wish for you, my friend
Is not a simple one
For I wish you hope and joy and peace
Days filled with warmth and sun
"I wish you love and friendship too
Throughout the coming year
Lots of laughter and happiness
To fill your world with cheer
"May you count your blessings, one by one
And when totaled by the lot
May you find all you've been given
To be more than what you sought
"May your journeys be short, your burdens light
May your spirit never grow old
May all your clouds have silver linings
And your rainbows pots of gold
"I wish this all and so much more
May all your dreams come true
May you have a Merry Christmas friend
And a happy New Year, too..."
I see a twinkle in your eye, so this shall be my Christmas star and I will travel to your heart: the manager where the real things are.
And I will find a mother there who holds you gently to her breast, a father to protect your peace, and by these things you shall be blessed.
And you will always be reborn and I will always see the star and make the journey to your heart: the manager where the real things are.
--Leunig
Sleep sweetly, while visions of sugar plums dance in your head (you gluttonous bitches! :p).
Luf!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Forever Young by Bob Dylan

May God bless and keep you always,
May your wishes all come true,
May you always do for others
And let others do for you.
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous,
May you grow up to be true,
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you.
May you always be courageous,
Stand upright and be strong,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy,
May your feet always be swift,
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift.
May your heart always be joyful,
May your song always be sung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Some words from Leunig...

We give thanks for the invention of the handle.Without it there would be many things we could'nt hold on to. As for the things we can't hold on to anyway, let us gracefully accept their ungraspable nature and celebrate all things elusive, fleeting and intangible. They mystify us and make us receptive to truth and beauty. We celebrate and give thanks.
Amen.

Let us live in such a way
That when we die
Our love will survive
And continue to grow.
Amen.

Dear God,
We rejoice and give thanks for earthworms, bees, ladybirds and broody hens: for humans tending their gardens, talking to animals, cleaning their homes and singing to themselves; for the rising of the sap, the fragrance of growth, the invention of the wheelbarrow and the existence of the teapot, we give thanks. We celebrate and give thanks.
Amen.

In fact, here's a link: http://www.users.bigpond.net.au/con-nosotros/some-more-of-the-same!.html

Saturday, December 17, 2005

"As human beings we possess "free will", or more accurately "freedom of choice". We have, at all times, an absolute personal power to choose between this or that action, thought, emotion, etc. And as Nature shows us clearly, for every action there is an equal reaction; or in this case, for every choice taken there is an equal consequence. And to the same degree that we are responsible for choosing, we are equally responsible for the consequences of our choices. There are no choices taken without consequences for which we are personally responsible."
There are indeed arguments that can be used to say that humans don't have 'free will', of course - conditioning, genetic make up etc. - and these are to a degree important, but the point here is simply to say that we choose to make the decisions we do. I'm not sure about other people, but I know with me that there are plenty of times when I consciously choose to, for example, stay angry, although it sort of seems not to be a choice in a way. But it is at these moments of choice, these gaps between impulse and action, that we have the power to change ourselves, change our lives and the lives of those around us, for the better. Just think about it. Be honest with yourself and think of all those times you consciously decide to do things to hurt others and the such. Even if it is somewhat subconscious, or seems it, there is often a subtle agreement in your mind you refuse to acknowledge in your mind to act a certain way. It is in this awareness that our power to change the world lies.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

"We're lost, but we're making great time!"

"unlimited, eternal and infinite Opportunity exists all around us.
to look it in the eye can actually be quite scary.
a giant pile of dominoes, waiting to be stacked--
to be re-created, transformed into something new--
only to be knocked over in the end.

"can there really be art for art's sake?
coulld YOU really do it?
could you give all of yourself to some endeavor--
attempt to manifest your Inside out into the world--
and then, having found your Self at last,
give it a toss into the fire?

"life is the universe, painting it's self-portrait.

"the beauty of it, and yet also a sort of tragedy,
is that your Great Work will never be done.
there will always be something else to add.

"Creation will exist for eternity.
It will do so because it has no choice.
It may wander for as long as it desires, but in the end,
Existence is what you arrive at,
no matter which path you choose to walk.

"love it, fight it, use it or abuse it--
no matter what, your Being will not forsake you.
it will wait for you on the highest peak,
and walk with you through the darkest depths of Negation.

"always, always, always,
somewhere present within you,
you posess the blueprint for your Highest Goal.
somewhere, shrouded in vague memories and dreams,
you have an awareness of What You Came Here For.

"to put it another way: you will always be Loved. get used to it.
like it or not, you're stuck with your Self,
and in the end you answer to You and your Self alone.

"in awareness of that, do with Existence what you will.
you are perfectly Free to create your own world.
in fact, you've already done so, even if you've yet been unaware.

"you, reader, are just like me--
a witness, an exploring child--
a seeker, stopped dead in your tracks,
by a brief glimpse of the Light.

"listen to me. this is Truth.
it is not mine and i did not come up with it.
it simply is. that is, it exists because that is its essence.
it's source is the balance between Darkness and Light.

"so here's some words i found etched in a stone that was buried under some ground,
or something i heard a bird say, or something taped to a brick,
then thrown through my front window.

"-<(C*R*A*S*H)>-

"nothing happens by coincidence, and chance does not operate in any world,
so i read these words and wonder about them for awhile.
i don't think i understand them, or know if i believe them,
but i just wouldn't feel right if i didn't pass them along.

"i'm not looking for answers, I just have some questions I'd like to ask

".... so much babble ... hours spent trying to make thought into word ... what's the gain? i dunno. it's daylight, i've got work tomorrow, and i should probably go to bed. but what of these words? do i like them? am i proud of them? could they have come at another time? i would hope so, but i'll admit i'm not so sure. regardless, when it comes down to it, what have i got to lose?

"here's those words:

"everything you see, and feel and hear and touch,
are the result of your own Creation.
there are no victims or villains in this world.

goodnight..."

Observations

I love the way the fallen bouganvillea flowers in the yard next door dance around each other on the breeze. Sometimes just one at a time, sometimes two, sometimes more. Sometimes it takes a second to realise they're dead flowers rather than butterflies.

I love the infinite possibility of life, and how the closer you look, the more you can see.

Birds at sunset are like fish. They fly level and are just sort of dark, then briefly turn on their sides slightly towards the west and reflect a flash of light.

Who needs the minimalist idols of Malevich and the Suprematists when you have the light thrown on the walls?

I love planes. Aeroplanes, that is. Especially when they look exactly like the ones in quantas adds. I love quantas adds, the feeling the evoke. It's so cool how even when planes are so far away you can still hear the distant roar of them. I saw a one from an angle I never have before. I was looking out the window, and one flew directly overhead, so that as it got further away it was almost like those birds you draw when you're young, just thin lines in the sky.

I love the sky. It is constantly changing, and always amazing. Like how they say "you never step in the same river twice", you never look at the same sky twice. And it is so deceptive. It pretends to be this solid ceiling above us, yet in reality it stretches out into infinity.

If you are the ultimate centre of your universe, responsible for everything that happens in your life, then you're not seeing clearly. How can anything be you, when it has taken absolutely EVERYTHING that has ever been for things to happen as they do?

"i appreciate the opportunity to travel, to ramble,
to be wrong as much as i'm right,
to be bored as much as i'm entertained,
and lonely as often as i'm in love
--mother and father, child and God.

"well i ain't got no worries cause i ain't in no hurry...
just kickin ass off the plate God chose to feed me on.

"a happy song to the one i love--
the one i love in the road in my mind
as i travel on what i dream--
and to that still undecided whether to be or not,
to arrive or to be fuel for what arrives next
as it passes on.

"if you trust me i can help you heal yourself--
to find Freedom, Wisdom, and Love.
i know im riding but i dont know to where.

got any worms?"

I love you all in a way that verbalising that phrase does not do justice. In my head, love is the only way to put it, yet when I say it out loud it doesn't seem quite right.
Take care of yourselves :)
Sleep tight.
"Well I've been thinking bout the future
Too young to pretend
It's such a waste to always look behind you
You should be lookin' straight ahead

Yeah, I'm gonna have to move on
Before we meet again
Yeah, it's hard
If you had've only seen

10.34: Flinders Street Station
I'm lookin' down the tracks
Uniformed man askin' am I paid up
Why would I wanna be that?

Yeah I'm gonna have to move on
Before we meet again
Yeah it's hard
If you had have only seen

Take control
Don't be afraid of me

'Cause every once in a while
You think about if your gonna get yourself together
You should be happy just to be alive
Just because you just don't feel like comin' home
Don't mean that you'll never arrive

Yeah I'm gonna have to move on
Before we meet again
Yeah it's hard
If you had have only seen

Take control
Don't be afraid of me"

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

"so i chose all this, huh? is that what you're saying?

"i guess there is a sort of cosmic humor in it... so much irony it could only be called divine.

"you did not create yourself. your actions only have the illusion of being of your own accord. what "occurs" as "events" in this universe are, in every case, the necessary result of the prevailing conditions--only the densest portion of which could be said to be "physical"--at any given point in "space" and "time."

"you are in Reality only a silent witness to this process. from a more universal context it can be seen as self-evident that the ego is deluded in claiming posession of its thoughts and deeds. sorry, but you don't have the power to determine the course of manifestation... even at the highest currently attainable levels of human consciousness--that of the Buddha, Jesus the Christ and the other great Avatars of history--power is not something one "has" or "does" or "uses," but what one is, and is attained through submisison rather than attempts to force and control your world. "my will and the will of the father are one," to paraphrase Jesus.

"it is time to transcend your fundamental perception of duality in the world. Truth is not opposed to falsehood, and Good is not opposed to evil--there are no opposites in Reality. rather, Truth is a continuum. that is, it exists in varying degrees of intensity as an energy that is present or not, much like light could be said to exist in a dark room. the point is (it's here somewhere...) there is no such thing as darkness, or cold, or evil... there is only the presence or absence of light, heat and Love.

"to hate evil is still to hate, and no amount of wrongs will ever add up to "right."

"you cannot add darkness to the dark and make it light.

"no matter what you do--no matter how hard you try to ignore it or how long you run away--the limited self you mistake for being "you" will never be capable of being anywhere other than where it is... that is, Here and Now. try as you might, you will eventually realize that you cannot change How Things Are. eventually, be it right now, or in ten years or a million, you will have to face the Truth:

"Creation is perfect, and so are you.
Nothing should be other than it is.
"What if's" and "If only's" are nothing but useless mentations--
they only serve to distract you from the Beauty and perfect Harmony of every moment of Creation.

"Trust in this, and you will be set free.
Relax yourself completely into the world.

"As Rumi said, "be melting snow,"
or take Phish's advice, and choose to remember that the trick
is to surrender yourself completely to the flow.

"What am I saying? Nothing, really,
that hasn't been said a million times before--
in a thousand different ways, through pristine channels--
how long will we wait while Truth knocks at our door?

"Someone who loves you is trying to lead you home.

"...

"maybe here's a good place to insert some words from A Course in Miracles--a restatement of all this babble in more rarified, simpler terms... it seems to be what you realize when you finally decide to open the door. pay attention, because these words are quite powerful... they point to what it is you came here for:

""I am here only to be truly helpful.
I am here to represent Him Who sent me.
I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do, because He Who sent me will direct me.
I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing He goes there with me.
I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal."

"or, as Neale Walsch once transcribed: "you are in the room to heal the room."

"the greatest joy and the highest bliss only come through the surrender of desire, fear and pride, out of sheer gratitude for the gift of your existence. only your highest self truly appreciates being alive.

"... i'm wandering again... back to Creation...

"Creation contains infinite potential. every possibility is available for manifestation. existence comes into being in the interaction between intent and form, brought forth by a Power of inconceivable proportions, and though the "future" is infinite and undetermined--like the cloud of probability that is the underlying substrate of matter--at the moment Creation occurs it becomes "pre-determined." your life could not have gone any other way. no one can help but to be what they are.

"okay, i'm done for now. it's funny, you really never know where these things are going to go, and it makes you wonder if "you" are really writing this at all... hehe..."

I do wonder what everyone is thinking of all this stuff I've been posting recently, particularly my friends. Maybe I've scared some people off. Maybe people think I've gone crazy, or just plain stupid. Has it changed people's opinions of me in any way? I do feel sligth embaressment and shame at all this. But oh well.
Goodnight.
:)

Monday, December 12, 2005

I just wanted to mention something amazing that happened last night.
I was sittiing on my bed looking out the window as I do, in a bit of a troubled, confused mood, not sure what path to choose, and being a little sad, when a dark shape drifted through the night sky. I thought at first it might be a bat, but no, it didn't move like a bat. I stared at it, then realised that it was a plastic bag, carried on the wind, drifting on high, over rooftops in the middle of the night, just calmly wafting on overhead.
I was thinking about this and rejoicing somewhat, still looking out my window, when, to my surprise, a second one came along and drifted by. A second one!
Those who have seen American Beauty would have an idea what I'm on about. For those who haven't, basically the plastic bag in the wind, in the movie, is sort of a symbol of beauty and an underlying thing in everything that could be described as divinity if you're so inclined, or just an amazing enigma. It made the character realise that there was beauty all around, that things sort of communicate with eachother, with you, if you watch carefully, or it at least can be perceived as such, and that there is nothing to fear, ever.
Two within minutes of eachother (and it seemed they weren't the same one)! It was amazing.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

"don't hate yourself for them.
don't give in to anger or embarrassment.
don't indulge in guilt or feel ashamed.
that is only self-pity in disguise.
there is no-one but you who demands penance.
rest assured, you have already been forgiven.

"God does not need you to earn Forgiveness,
or sacrifice yourself to be deserving of eternal Love.
Lovingness and Forgiveness is what God is, you see,
and you are deserving of it by virtue of your existence alone.

"guilt is like a rope that you hang yourself with,
and fear is your own failure to see the beauty of the tree.
so don't attach yourself to negative emotions--
take note of them when they arise,
but let them go, for they are useless,
and will only weigh you down.

"stop kicking yourself for your past mistakes!
stop taking yourself so seriously!
your "sins" are already atoned for--
the world does not need another martyr.

"seek understanding, not condemnation,
in the actions and choices of yourself and others.
after all, none of us can be different than we are.

"observe that to hate evil is still to hate.
know that darkness can only be dispelled by light.
realize that the shadows you see are from your own reflection.
remember that you are here to heal and not to fight.

"don't compare yourself to an ideal.
you're doing fine as you are, and there is no need to hurry.
find joy in the struggle between who you are and who you wish to be.

"stop judging your experiences, and focus insteadon ever higher ways of loving Creation.
learn to love the totality of God's manifestation.
the only real way to know Love is to become it,
and in doing so you become One with the Divine.

"there are a million ways to distract yourself, indeed.
life after life you've sought comfort in self-made illusions.
in spite of your childish defiance, however,
your destiny is already determined.
your "salvation" has already been assured.
someday, somehow, no matter which road you choose,
you're going to make it home.

"so go and play as long as you want.
laugh and hurt, worry and rejoyce.
go and get lost in infinite possibility.

"but underneath it all, i tell you now,
it is Oneness that you seek--reunion, resolution--
the remembrance of your true Self.

"fear not, then,
because somewhere in your journey through eternity,
you'll discover (or remember, rather)
that only Love can satisfy your immortal soul.

"when you've exhausted every other possibility you'll know,
that true freedom lies in the willing surrender
of everything but your highest dreams.
that surrender brings with it the realization
that God's greatest giftis our freedom to take the long way home.

"what's ironic, though, is that the search itself is an illusion.
the divinely tragic comedy we've created only serves to distract us
from the fact that we've already arrived.

"that is, what it is you think you must do
is in Reality already accomplished.
right Now, not later,
your highest voice speaks to you inside your head.
don't try to bullshit me here, it won't work.
i've already heard what you think you might hear.

"all you have to do is listen.

"listen, and then follow, and be certain of your knowledge.
be confident yet humble in your divinity,
and be careful not to mistake humility for pride.

"and don't worry if you stumble and fall,
because it's already understood
that living your dreams is easier said than done."
"FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real"

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Just something I forgot to put on my other post. It's sort of a woman thing, but I'm sure that the underlying principle can be applied to other things. Regarding those dreaded things, called periods! Ahhhh! Well, I find that my attitude towards them and towards life in general has a huge impact on their painfulness, heaviness, and duration. Yes, I do not have them as bad as many others (and some might not want to hear this sort of talk), but the basic thing still stands, and it's true. I've been monitoring it for some time now. Sometimes they start off bad, then I realise I haven't been acting great, and so I realign my perception, and they are better. So there you have it. Just my experience, in hope of pointing you towards the possibility out there.
Greetings, all.
I just decided to point out to you all some things that I know from my own experience, show you how there are certain things some don't believe but, as they have happened to me, they are, at least, possible, so you can't say they aren't.
Primarily, you can do anything you want, so to speak. I mean, if you commit to change, it will happen. I realise that it has taken my whole life being exactly as it has been thus far to be where I am, but it does show that it's possible. I have achieved everything I have honestly, commitedly, even subconsciously, set out to achieve, to a degree. Of course, my life isn't over yet and all, but the facts remain. For example, friends. For one thing as a specific example, I have realised that a certain person I've always wanted to be better frineds with reacts in kind to the way I act to them, so that I have learnt that instead of waiting for others, it is actually beneficial to act yourself. Additionally, another example, I decided a little while ago that if I really wanted better friends, all I had to do was act more friendly, more how I wanted to act, and it over time happened. See, my change in acting was in part spurred on by when I had a bit to drink at Krister's 18th. I saw then who i wanted to be, in part, and, as I had seen that it was possible for me to be like that, I committed to bringing that into my normal life, to great success. So the point of saying all this is to tell you all that it is possible to achieve what you want. Entirely possible. Of course, you can deny it as much as you want, say that you in your situation connot, I am just telling you that that possiblity does exist. And i'm repeating myself a lot here.
Another thing to add, a few words on selfishness/selflessness. I've not thought of this in terms of words yet, so I hope this turns out alright. Contrary to what I have once believed and what others may express, there is a true selflessness. Of course, on some level it is for you in a way, but there's much more to it than that. Yes it can be done in a detrimental way, but it doesn't always have to be like that. there is something there that makes it good and right. I think you'll find it rewarding to think in terms of commpassion and kindness and respect and wanting to help all. A quote:
"go buy a houseplant. no, buy two. one you kind of like, and one you really don't find attractive at all. over the next few months, sit down every day for a few minutes and look at each one. for the first, think about how much you hate it, how ugly it is, what a pain it is to have to water it all the time, and how you wish it would just die and get done with it. for the second, focus on its beauty, pay attention to how it develops, think about how much you like it and how you want it to grow. get to know its shape and its characteristics, and if you're really weird, try and "feel" the energy of it. commune with it, love it, "send" it positive thoughts and energy.
"don't actually do anything different to the two plants. give them equal sun, and fertilizer, and water. treat them the same, externally, but create an opposition within your inner feelings towards them.
"then wait and see how they develop. be careful, though, because you just might kill the one you hate.
"want a better experiment? try this with people that you know. i don't suggest doing the whole "hating" part of it though (bad karma). do you know someone who is old and ailing? or constantly depressed? or who is always sick or angry or bitter? it works best with someone you see and interact with often, someone in whom you can observe day-to-day changes in behavior and attitude. when you're with them, then, or even when you're not, "send" them positive thoughts. look for what is beautiful in them. intend compassion, and "pray for them", if you like to think of it like that. ... it's best to begin with someone you already feel love for, but eventually you should try this with the people who you feel you "hate" the most... easier said than done, i know. the ultimate goal is unconditional loving-kindness and compasison for all beings, but don't worry if that seems like too much of a stretch for you...
"so try this, and then just watch. observe. notice. become aware of how their attitudes change... pay attention to how your own feelings toward a person actually affect how they feel and act, even from across a room or from a thousand miles away. if you're in a room or with a group of people, and tension or anger or discomfort begins to manifest, try centering yourself and consciously radiate love to everyone involved. when two people are arguing, focus not on the drama but on the underlying love between them that causes them to care about each other's behavior. radiate positivity, and see what happens.
"if you do this, you will eventually come to understand that your own inner thoughts and intentions actually influence all of creation. put another way, instead of getting upset or judgmental or angry at others for not being how you want them to be, be the change you wish to see in the world, and you may find that the world will follow suit. it's astonishing, and also intensely humbling, to realize as a matter of personal experience the effect that you can have on the world around you."
All you can do in difficult situations is be honest with yourself, don't let your best judgements get clouded by pride, and treat both yourself and others with compassion. By the way, as much as your pride may resist certain changes such as these, I have at least found that if you have the courage to move past them you will actually find your life is far better for it.
Of course, you may think I'm full of shit. Indeed I may be, I do remind myself of that. All I can do is speak from personal experience.
That's all for now.
Take care :)