"There is no one in the world who does not deserve some respect. He who pays respect to another by so doing respects himself, for respect creates respect, while disrespect reechoes in disrespect. The greatest education that can be given to a child is that of respect, not only for his friends, parents, and relations, but also for the servants in the house. Once the Prophet Muhammad, hearing his grandson call a slave by his name, told him, "Call him Uncle, for he is advanced in years." If one wishes to respect someone, one will surely find something to respect in him; and if there is nothing at all to be found, then the very fact that he is a human being quite entitles him to respect." --From 'The Art of Being and Becoming' Hazrat Inayat Khan
And I have felt a sense sublime
Of something far more deeply interfused,
Whose dwelling is the light of setting suns,
And the round ocean and the living air,
And the blue sky, and in the mind of man;
A motion and a spirit, that impels
All thinking things, all objects of all thoughts,
And rolls through all things.
-- Wordsworth
11 comments:
Everyone Deserves Respect. I cannot Deny this.
This does not mean you don't look down at people. Everyone judges everyone else, and even with higher learnings and spirituality, you will judge people, dictate their worth in your own perception.
The only able thing you can do, is not regard how you judge other people, but ensure that you, yourself are judged worthy. Ensure that every job you undertake, every relationship you begin, finishes as beautifully as it begins, and is still filled with potential. If you don't do this, then people will stop respecting you, and then you will stop respecting them.
Change for your thoughts?
I reckon there's nothing wrong with striving for really lofty goals, even if perhaps you never reach them. I like to try, anyway.
I also believe that there may well be a state beyond judgement that is attainable, although I cannot say for sure because I have not been there.
However, one certainly can reduce one's judgment of people and indeed it is best for one's own emotional health to do this as well as one can, and this is espcially true from a spiritual perspective where everything simply IS as it is, perfect in that way. But then, just's just what I'm tossing around in my head at the moment.
You make a good point about ensuring everything that you do is done beautifully. I like it :) I quite agree (although I very much admit that I frequently falter from that).
May be all strive to become our truest, loftiest goals. And forgive ourselves when we don't make it. And not project the shadows of ourselves onto others. Now I'm just thinking 'aloud', so I'll stop.
Good day to you
Anonymous, you are correct when you say that humans judge each other. Its part of the package of being human. That said, just because you judge them does not mean you cannot respect them at the same time. Push aside the natural prejudice and look at the hard data.
I hate to bring sport into this but its a prime example. I can say I loathe the Collingwood Football Club, and everytime my team beats them the world is a bettter place. But at the same time I can respect the athletes, the supporters, the staff that make that team great. Its a fine edge.
You say the only thing you can do is to ensure you are judged worthy in another's eyes, which I can sort of agree with, but I much prefer respecting yourself to earn the respect of others. I do not care if another sees me as "worthy", but if they can respect my attitudes and I their's then something is right, surely.
People will respect you as long as you respect yourself. The question is if you do destroy the beautiful things you mention how can you respect yourself and for that matter anyone else respect you?
I never said that I destroy these things. I never do, not now. I may have in the past, but once again, thats the past.
Unfortunately, our past does define our future. So I do mention it, reading over this blog, reading comments and gathering what I can. I can See Pastichna has destroyed a few things. And it isn't her fault, we all make mistakes. I am mearly trying to give some advice.
And i said you respect everyone to some degree Bryan. You can't help it. If you have an enemy, at some leave you do respect his ingenuity, is freedom or his determination (i'm taking classic cartoon villians here, but you can apply it to less harsh circumstances i'm sure). But you do look down on people. Judge them.
I was hoping to hear Pastichna's Thoughts, after reading this blog, on her actions of making sure her past, present and future is as wonderful as it could be.
My thoughts, hmmm? Trying to be the best I can be. Following a spiritual path, which is the way I'm trying to make things as wonderful as they could be. That means values like love and compassion and kindness and forgiveness. In that way, I hope to heal.
I am not denying my past. I accept full responsibility for it. And indeed what you said furthered some thoguhts I was vaguely beginning to have about all that.
What can I say? I'm trying. Maybe that could be thought a cop out thing to say, and maybe my intentions in saying are a bit leaning towards the cop out. Hm, I shall think on it.
Thanks for your offering of advice :)
Just in reading over my comments, they do sound almost annoyingly reserved and doging giving a real answer or acknowledgement. Hehehe. I'm just very unsure of my motivations behind saying certain things and so just restrict what I say.
Maybe I'll revise it all.
Here's an overall reaction to both of your comments. Maybe it will be more sincere in a way? I shall wait and see.
I think you can transcend judgement with spirituality, or even wiht simple reason (although having the element of the spiritual viewpoint certainly helps). From a purely logical perspective (my logic at least, which is inextricably intertwined with the path I have travelled spiritually) we cna reduce our judemnet of people my simply seeing that they are not really at fault in a way, cannot be blamed, because they are a result of everything that has gone into making them, and everything that mae that which made them and so on. I don't see how one cna be a full science believer, in all the ways of chemicals and that, and still blame anyone for anything, becuase from a scientific perspective aren't their reactions juts to do with the way they're chemically harwired? That may seem warped to some, but logical to me... Also, we don't see the whole picture; we're not inside other people's minds; and everyone sees things in their own way.
I believe, just from my values and stuff, that it is far more important to regard how you judge people than how others judge you. I don't particularly care all that much about what others think of my actions as such because it's just their perspective on it, which is very limited. Except it is good to hear their judgements because it helps you see things differntly. But I don't mind if they stop respecting me, or never did in the first place, except for that idea that maybe if no one respects me or likes me at all then maybe I'm doing everything very wrong, but that's something to think on. But I will still respect them regardless.
In regards to everything with Krister, I am not happy per se about how I handled all of that. If it was to have been better I should either have konwn everythinng know now then, or end it earlier. Be a completely different person, or not let it get so far. I know you're not calling for my whole story here, but maybe I need to finally get that out rather than just keeping it in my head. To change anything that happened now is impossible, of course, and so I must move forward. And I don't regret it all, really, because I have learnt so much and won't do it again. I am determined not to do it again. It has been quite a catalyst for growth.
You may be the same person who told me fix old burnt bridges. Or else you have a similar point now as that person did. I am more willing now to consider that, think on it more. I have been a bit, and I'm still not sure.
I don't know if Krister still reads this, but I shall directly address him you case, rather than preteding to ignore the possibility. Hello Krister. I sincerely hope for the best for you, but I'm not sure my talking to you would not do more harm than good at this stage, and I don't want to hurt you more.
I shall yell out to you through the most impersonal possible aspect of cyberspace for now that I AM SORRY!!! and cry to the divine for our redemption.
Through all this intellectualising, I am just trying to find god, and that is where I really turn to answer any of these questions. Thus I may not have answers for a very very long time. And that is my underlying sustrate of all of this: that I cannot myself understand anything because it will always be from my limited, ego-driven perspective. It is in god that the only answers lie.
Now, after that egocentric rant...or maybe I should stop judging myself. I don't know.
If I'm wrong, please show me. Destroy everything that is not true, in the name of creation.
And I think that you, anonymous, are great. Fucking annoying making me open my eyes a little wider *shakes fist* damn you! :) (annoyed ego rant that I need to get out of the way). Thank you. Have a freshervescent day :)
Let me try and remember all I have to say.
(about Judgement and your own self perception) Yes you can trancend the negatives of humanity, such as judgement. Shifting fault, is not the answer. Otherwise it just continues to move. It is the junkies fault for doing heroin. Sure, genes and society attribute. But simply, in the moment, past and culture, define who you are, and your soul does to, into making the decisions you do. You cannot blame these things on anything else but yourself. Perhaps why this is you have troubles. Because you shift the blame onto others, rather than accepting your responsibility, and accepting at times, in some faccets you are a bad person. we all are in some way.
Judgeing others is an automatic part of yourself, which is part of your responsibility. How others judge you affect your judgements ect... once again playing the blame game. Listen to Jack Johnson's songs on On & On, might provide some insight if thats how you resert some values.
If you need others Judgements to see yourself in a new perspective, then you are tending to delude yourself. Once again, accept who you are Pastichna.
About krister (Perhaps the longest part of this comment). I've been talking to the Lad on Msn. Thinking about meeting with him, he's a smart boy. So your take on the entire event, really isn't needed, although if i was to continue to dispence my fortune cookie advice, i think i'd like to hear some things that he doesn't know, such as you and your feelings. And no, he doesn't read this, so if you do want to adress him, do it. Email/call/see him, i'm not sure how you'd feel comfortable. but ensure that you do not leave it to uncertainty. Oh, and i'm not the person who told you to fix burnt bridges, but you have had some decent advice from passerby's (and some insults may i add, why the insults?).
No, you can't change what actually happened then. But you can change the past, as the present constantly filters to yesterday. But you can change "THE PAST", the experiences that have brought you to where you are, who you are. If you leave such a black mark, that makes you want to cry to Jesus (or whoever you worship) will affect who you are now. A black mark in your past, means a black mark on you. He isn't dead, he isn't a druggie, you still have a chance to change things so this entire event of negativity was a brief moment in your life, rather than the few month stretch that it is now. It will stay that long if you leave this as an issues. Let the positivity that has come from it intertwine the the negative. If you've learnt from it, then why are things between you still bad? Perhaps because you haven't applied what you tell me you've learnt to your feelings to him.
I will give some instructions.
-Talk to Krister somehow. You, personally need to deal with your problems with him, what happened.
-He isn't as hurt as you may think. From my oppinion, he's over you as a relationship, over you as friendship. He doesn't seem hurt anymore about this. He still cares for you, loves you. He believes those will never fade, and so as a result he concerns with your well being. But he's past it all, and it seems to me, he has dealt with it far better than you.
-Put things on hold to do this. Other social engagements, as wonderful and happy as they may be, will simply, in regards to your past making who you are, will dirty them, dirty your friendships and other relationships slightly with what you are feeling.
Also, don't justify your egocentric rant. Its how you feel, don't feel like you need to cover it up with a sorry and a kiss on the cheek. I think that may of been said before on this blog. But the truth is, by doing that you are denying who you are.
And as far as your thoughts on spirituallity are, a motavational tazo i got when i was 9 probably says it best. "Don't Attain. Just be". Simple. You seem to base so much of your beliefs and actions on uncertainties. "Should". Its the worst word. If you want to feel something, feel it, do something if you want to do it. Don't hide your feelings behind things, like your apology for your rant. Accept that perhaps you are a childish person, spoilt, addicted, obsessed, greedy, lustful ect. You are these things. You cannot change until you accept, and even then you must want to change, not feel that you should.
Fortunately, i must now go. I will be back, because I think that you need some help.
The insults were from 'friends' of Krister's after I broke up with him. I say 'friends' because they have never actually once tried to help him in any way or be what one cold call a friend.
You said: "Also, don't justify your egocentric rant. Its how you feel, don't feel like you need to cover it up with a sorry and a kiss on the cheek. I think that may of been said before on this blog. But the truth is, by doing that you are denying who you are." People keep thinking that all this is just lying to myself. I hold a very different view of what being true to yourself is. Granted, they may be right. Then again I may be right. Then again we neither of us may be right. Then again, maybe we each have elements of truth in our perceptions, but only see part of what is.
I am not shifting fault. It is really quite the opposite that I mean. It involves taking responibility, but not in a negative way, and it is also a way of seeing that you can't really porject your values onto others and call them highest truth.
I would completely whne you say that if you need other people's judgement to make you see differently you are deluded. Of course it means you're deluded, we all are, but taking the judgement of others into account and through it broadening your perception and learning - that does not make someone deluded in itself, but rather it is an admission that you do not know everything, that you are incapable with your limited perception of seeing the whole truth.
So about your advice in how to handle the situation with Krister: I am following a rather different path to what you think need to be followed. Therefore I will listen to all you have to say and learn form it, but not in the way that you intend.
And concerning this whole little theme running through this comment about perception: I think Krister would be less over it than you think. You cannot really know how he feels about it because as he has said many times he doesn't open up to people much, but he did to me, more than he has with others, and so from what I know of him he wouldn't be so over it as you think. Granted, he may be a very changed person since I knew him, I cannot say, but if nothing else this can be a little lesson to us all (yes, including me very much so) that we are incapable of fully judging a situation because we cannot possibly know everything.
You say: "If you want to feel something, feel it, do something if you want to do it. Don't hide your feelings behind things, like your apology for your rant." That's just the thing - I wans't hiding. I was aiming to get it out, investigate it, and move beyond it to what I actually want to be. SOrt a healing and learning process, all part of 'getting there', wherever 'there' may be.
"Accept that perhaps you are a childish person, spoilt, addicted, obsessed, greedy, lustful ect. You are these things. You cannot change until you accept, and even then you must want to change, not feel that you should." Indeed I am very much finlly beginning to accept all these facets of existance. And it's not that I feel like I should change - I to, very much, and have been acting accordingly in almost every thought and action I undertake. It has been said that willingness is key, and I certainly have that, else I would not be listening to you and placing value in what you have to say.
And just a little thing, a little possible food for thought: change perhaps can tkae place before you've accepted things, and even bofore you're completely consciously willing, for that is what I've experienced. All it takes is a little seed of willingness and it will grow. Of course, there will come a time when one must become all willingness and acceptance, but one needn't think they can do nothing until they have become that.
I did like your tazo wisdom. Games have so muuch to teach us, hehehe.
Have a good one
Hahaha, I just read over that. My grammar is shocking!
Lets email. For the simple fact that eventually that blog post is going to be pushed down so far i won't be able to find it without diving into your archives. You will find me at Fishing4JJ@hotmail.com if you wish to.
Yes you have bad gramar. But your spelling is atrocius. I damn well hope I spelt Atrocious right after saying that.
And for the most part, I agree with what you have said about judgement, about most things, but i feel as if you've dodged what I have asked. Perhaps I'm just looking for specific answers, and not seeing them. I think mostly you're begging to think these things, and just need time.
You mention all of this about judgement. That you cannot make it correctly without some egocentric perceptions, or omnipotent knowledge. Personally, you do what is right.
Knowing Krister and yourself (vaguely) for almost a week, Krister has told me to be a decent person to him, that i should be Honest about all of my feelings to him, even if they bring a negative effect on him. Thats his stance, and how stubbornly he protects it, i assume it always has been. So I think he must of told this to you.
And so... for making judgement, you have decided to leave Krister alone. Not only that, but you are leaving him alone, wanting to talk with him/deal with your feelings, and restricting yourself because you have judged that it will hurt him.
Its just felt to me that you feel as if you don't believe that he could cope with even speaking. And so you have decided what he wants is irrelevant.
But, what do I know? I am just playing devils advocate here.
I left out a little.
Spelling error, "begining" instead of begging.
And
So through this, I have some reason to think that you are not talking to krister, avoiding him, not out of "his own good", but out of yours. You have to be, if you truely believe that you cannot make judgements with authority ect ect.
Although I am not going to push you, take your time Pastichna. Think this all through, figure out your feelings and your wants, and THEN decide what to do.
But, what do i know? i'm just playing the devils advocate here.
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