So, here's something of love that I need to get out, rather than 'needing' to get out, I don't know, how it's so unfair that I have to work all day Saturday and Sunday as well as Monday and Tuesday nights when I have an assignment due on Monday and another on Wednesday. Because when I 'get that feeling out' it makes it a feeling. Before I say it it's not that bad, but when I choose to say it it grows and it seems like a big issue. So then maybe the same thing can apply to happy things, which, when people ask me how I am or what I've been up to or something I don't often say because they're potentially boring, not what people want ot hear, more difficult to communicate, not normal. So to hell once and for all with saying 'negative' things just for the sake of interactivity - better to have no friends or be seen as a little weird than to foster an idea that things suck.
So my love thing that's worth getting out?

This song by Sarah Humphreys (www.myspace.com/sarahhumphreys) that I've mentioned before, April, that I've listened to over and over and over again. That is my love thing. If you go to that link and listen to the song it may not seem like anything special. But the fact that the first time I heard Sarah's music she was playing it live, and it really struck a chord in me because of just the whole context, which is made up of everything ever . And so I heard something that night, so that now, when I listen to her music, and April in particular (although she didn't actually play it the first time I saw her...or maybe she did and I just didn't notice becuase it wasn't at the time as striking as others?) I hear her in the music. I can feel her play, feel her mouth forming a word in the unusual way it does sometimes, feel the slight movement of her head when she dips up to a note, feel her little smile as she closes her eyes just as I hear the smile in her voice. And of course there are the ittle idiosyncracies of her voice - the way it breaks, or dips in place, or her strange accent and not-quite-articulated words. She taught me finally to not sing along all the time, but just to listen, to really listen, a lesson I've never before followed through. And when I listen to that song, sitting here at the computer, stopping eveything else, I can feel the spark of life, of the essence, in my heart, and I smile with my whole being.
That, I think, may be me discovering love

People say they write the unsaid, or that they write to sort things out, make sense of things so they can deal with them.

The wonders of life remain far more unsaid than its dark and its dreary times.

And I don't know about you but I feel like I really need to sort out these intense feelings of love and wonderment. They're so big I have trouble comprehending them, or even doing them the smallest amount of justice.


Fixating on the dark and dreary does not make things brighter.

Dwelling on all the terrible things in the world does not heal it.

Hating the rapist and the murderer just breathes more hate into the world.

Hating yourself for what you've done to another does not rectify the situation.


You who want more love in the world, who want to see it blossom into a web of equality and understanding and tolerance:

What sense does it make to breed grief and hate?

You know what's a miracle?

That our hands make hearts

you take what's alright and turn it into a work of art

I've been lied to. Uni really is a lot of work!
Yes, I'm a fresh little first year uni student now. I should probably go out and burn my bra or something, ay
Uni's pretty good. A lot of work, but it's alright. I've met my twin. She too wants to be a writer and for the same reasons as I and wants to tranfer to international studies and go to France and other things. Making friends is easy. It's easy to chat and ask people things about themselves and tell them about yourself etc, but what happens after that stage is over? All shall be revealed in good time.
Jack Kerouac is my muse, and every time I want to get inspired I just read something by him and voila. I wrote something for my writing subject in a way that, in my limited experience of writing, I haven't done before - I just started with the opening few words and watched where it took me, and where it took me was somewhere with more heart than anything I've written before (not that I've written much...), and I handwrote it, which I used to not be able to do very well - I'd always use the computor if I really wanted to get something done - and it was the reqired 500 words without me having to regulate it - it just fell into place.
Apart from uni, I've fallen in love. Her name's Sarah Humphreys and she's taken my heart with her melodies and her alternate sweet/aussie voice and the way she bends her notes and her little smiles. She won her heat of the singer/songwriter's competition hands down. My obession with her peaked in the latter days of the latter week until it stopped me studying because all I could do was hum her song to myself and I decided it was getting a little out of hand...But there you go
:)