The air is tinged with the subtle chill and deep purple of evening. Light emanates from some place below the distant horizon, generating a blue glow above the darkened land. A breeze touches the back of her neck and she shivers not only from the cold, but from the surprise.
Dark hair lies on the ground like the curls of skin from peeled fruit. Emily placed a hand on her shoulder, softly turned her around and caught her breath.
“What’s wrong with it?”
“You look so much like me.”
The other girl softly bent down, nuzzled her head into Emily’s shoulder, and kissed her neck.
In (incomplete?) poem form:
Light blue halo over darkening land
Cold like some lunar landscape
Silver light, a flying fish
In the sun, and
Hair on the ground like ribbon
Or the curled skin of peeled fruit.
You, lucky reader, have just witnessed a momentous occaision: my first poem (in verse...second all up). There is confusion in the poem in terms of light: I say it's dark, but the silver flash also brings light into the piece and so evolves it in a poetry way. See, poetry is allowed to do things that that that regular prose can't. If I had put that in a story I wrote it would be pointed out that it confuses the reader, like if you describe darkness by saying a lack of light in some way - it instantly brings light to it rather than just evoking darkness. But in poetry it can be used nice and symbolically. Gooo poetry! I don't like how there's nobody actually in the poem though. I want the two girls there. But I don't want to write that part right now.
Hidden message of this post: I'm a lesbian (which makes writing a piece with two 'shes' in it a little difficult). Sorry jared :(
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2 comments:
i like the poem better than the prose. i like your odd lack of verbs.
... and i like the lesbians.
is nice.
I like the poem. It's nice. Pretty good for an early attempt!
Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. There's something tantalising about the concept.
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