I think it may be time to leave the easy road and embark upon the search for what it is I know I am really looking for in this life. Even though it may be hard.
Earlier tonight, before I went out, I felt inspired to write the following. Maybe it's somehow connected.

Tonight I will let lose all my pent up love that I don’t even know I have because I’ve suppressed it so long it seems like this is the real me. But it’s not! There are huge possibilities, beyond my wildest dreams, and tonight I will tap into the real me, and the soul of the earth. I will tap into the divine. To the god that is chosen for me on this night.

Probably a diluted message there, but perhaps what I really mean shine through stronger than it has before.
Gloria in excelsis deo